I really haven’t spent a lot of time evaluating whether motherhood has met my expectations. I am not the type of person to bother about such things. However, introspection is good for the soul and I find this topic worthwhile.

If you will indulge me, my answer is best described by how we passed the time as a family on winter nights. As you well know, winter evenings in Ohio are blustery cold and are best spent indoors by a warm fire. My brothers and I usually played card or board games. One game night my mother decided that we should try making fudge. Not the ‘easy’ fudge made with marshmallow cream but the fussy kind that requires constant attention and a candy thermometer.
We took turns measuring, stirring, and dropping spoonfuls into ice water to test whether it was at ‘hard ball’ or ‘soft ball’ stage. Lots of spoons were dipped into to the pot to have a little taste. Honestly, I do not remember what that first pan of fudge was like but it began a tradition that spanned a number of winter nights.
Some of the time, the fudge turned out just as it should, silky smooth, rich and delicious. A LOT of the time, the fudge was a total flop. Either it hardened into a solid dark rock or it did not set up at all and remained a gelatinous liquid. If it was too tough, we got out the steak knives, sawed off whatever we could and sucked on it as if it were hard candy. The liquid fudge was warmed back up and ladled over ice cream. Sometimes, it was so bad we threw it away. The final product was irrelevant.
The real treasure was the anticipation, the adventure, and the camaraderie.

Many things about motherhood have not turned out the way I expected. My children are nothing like what I thought they would be. Parenting has turned out to be much harder than it looked when my parents were raising us. No matter, like the fudge, I have savored and exulted in whatever God has dealt me. The purpose is not the milestones, the planned moments, or even what my children will someday become. It is the journey we spend together.

As for my parenting agenda: my children will become the people they choose to be. Their options will be dictated by their gifts, limitations, and God’s grace. My role as a parent is to provide a safe haven and the life skills they will require as adults. Oh yes, my husband and I will do our best to teach them our values. In the end, my children must decide what lessons to keep and what to discard.